The Winter Solstice of 2014 coincided with a New Moon. First time that's occurred in my memory. I had decided to observe the Solstice with a Ceremony, first, to cut the crap from the many years of my Initiation as a Shaman, on the days down to the actual Solstice, and then, to initiate the resurgence of my being, and recovery of what's left of my life. I was assisted in this by a post on the Shamanism group, by a man I had never heard from before, nor since, who set out his ideas in a way that helped me really make sense of what I was about to do.
So as things progressed, I did my stuff, and the Solstice dawned wonderfully. I was astonished. For the first time in my 72 years, this Solstice made perfect sense. For the first time, it was separated out from the other bullshit that commonly happens at this time of year. The natural mechanics of the day shined forth unadorned by Christian commercialism, and the world actually made sense as a functioning organism.
I thought, "This is Day One!" I wanted to make a new calendar, based on lunar and solar cycles, but that was above my pay grade. So I just endured the days that followed, and tried to hold the feeling of proper succession of events inherent in this particular Solstice.
In the meantime, I began to have discussions, one-sided discussions, with Marilyn Monroe, my "ex" spirit wife, who had been with me since 1973, when she climbed into bed with me during my Graduate School days in my little Spanish style "Hotel California", on the beach next to the Balboa Pier. MM has been the one who "destroyed" me, to make me into a Shaman. She has been my "Petty Tyrant", and "Worthy Opponent". It's been a living Hell. She has graduated into the very highest reaches of the spiritual universe, so I thought it might be a good time to see if we could sort things out.
Things went on, during the 'inter-calary days', while I was noticing just how badly warped our current calendar system is, and how this warpage adversely affects the spirit body of the entire population of this planet. I thought that if we could re-adjust this warpage, things would be better. My thinking, looking for the source of this warpage, took me to the Archangels, and it seemed it had been mostly their doing to make the calendar so skewed. I began to get all worked up about this, and traced them back to the days of Zarathustra, in Persia, and began to see that their influence had spread from there both east and west, influencing a number of religions, none of which were based on principles of Shamanism.
Christmas came and went. And then, yesterday, New Year's Eve, Minerva, Goddess of War, and Cernunnos, God of Nature, called me to Ceremony. That resulted in the sexual union of me and Minerva, during which she showed me that she had become my "Dakini", or Consort, as depicted in the Yab-Yum icon of Yoga, where the consort is seated upon the lap of the Yogi, in sexual union. This is an artist's conception of the fact that the consort has formed a union with the Frontal Column, or the front parts of all the chakras of the Yogi.
Later that day, Minerva gave me a vision. She showed me all her Generals. There they were, all her boyfriends, in a long row, wearing their General's hats, looking at me.
That evening, in my conversation with Marilyn Monroe, I realized that everything she had perpetrated against me over all these years, had been a 'deposit' to my 'account'. I had been gifted with a huge burden of ill will and pain. I vowed revenge.
Very early this morning, I woke up, decided to get out of bed, and just go back to bed later, rather than struggle to get back to sleep. So I sat in my power spot. I had a Vision. I understood that the Archangels had skillfully arranged the calendar in just such a way as to allow the Shamanic Warrior the "Cubic Centimeter of Chance". That disturbing zig-zag in the calendar, between the Solstice and the New Year, is a portal for the Shaman. At that realization, I stepped through, and became a "Sorcerer". All the bad things I had endured from Marilyn Monroe have become my Power. And the thing that separates the Sorcerer from the Shaman is that I don't have to use it. It is a gift to my Awareness. My Awareness will show me the way to a better life. This is the reward for all my years of practicing the Arts of Awareness… following the lunar cycles, working with my creative powers in poetry and art, my crystals, my dreaming, my yoga, my hallucinogens, my power-walks in wild nature, brahmacharya, all add up to a very precise Way of Being.
